Monday, January 30, 2012

From good to worse

I was excited for this weekend, it started off on a good note with a sexy workout with the fi-fi: 

LGN baby! 

Friday we went bowling with some of our dearest friends (why didn't I get a group shot...doh!) 
We were originally going to go to the Sundance Film Festival but we didn't, and I got sad. So instead we went bowling and got junk food, so the night was saved. 

My bestie without testes, Kelsey-Friend. 
I went to bed that night with a belly ache, but it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. I always get belly aches when I eat myself silly with chips and ice cream and chocolate. 
The next day (Saturday) I felt bloated and kept asking Ryan, "Do I look fat?" but didn't think anything of it. 
He started complaining of right-lower quadrant pain and I kept teasing him that he probably had appendicitis but needed to let me know if he started feeling worse. 
Eventually his pain went away, and we went to the BYU basketball game and had awesome seats thanks to his roommates that camped out all night so that we could show up 2 hours before and sneak in with them. Ha-It was a lot of fun even though it was a horrible game....which ended up turning into a horrible rest of my night. 
I quickly went from picture A-> picture B. 

Picture A

Picture B

Saturday night/ Sunday morning I kept waking up with horrible stomach pains! It was like I had been punched in the stomach 300 times over. My first thought was the stupid junk food was still torturing my body. My second thought was the stomach flu. My third thought was that a dormant parasite from India was finally waking up. I was actually horrified by my third thought. Then I sat there for a second and got the impression that I needed to go the ER immediately and that I shouldn't eat or drink anything because I was going to need surgery (for something I had no idea I had). So I called the fi-fi and 4 hours later I found myself with appendifreakincitis! (appendicitis). Whoda thunk? 
It was actually ME who had the broken appendix and not Ry. Ironic? 
So I ended up getting surgery that day, spending the night in the hospital, and being in oodles of pain. 
Appendicitis sucks! 
The worst part: Not being able to eat or drink ANYTHING all day yesterday. I had my melt-down about 5pm yesterday right before I went into surgery. I was so fixated on my dry mouth and throat that I wanted to cry, but couldn't because I was so dehydrated and my body didn't have enough water to make tears. Torture I tell you! Torture! The nurse walked in on me hitting my blankets and saying cuss words to Ryan about how thirsty I was. Embarrassing. 
The second worst part: They filled my belly with CO2 gas and it is now radiating all over my body which means horrible shoulder pain. It's like there's an air bubble stuck up there. And my belly sticks out like I'm 5 months preg-o (which I'm not) and it puts a lot of pressure on my incisions. YOWZA. No fun. 

The best part? Having a super loving and supportive fi-fi who stayed by my side through the whole thing (It was his first major hospital experience-and after that I think he's hoping it's his last). He barely slept a wink and had tons to do today for school, but still helped me everytime I asked and held my hand through every ounce of pain. I love that man. The first thing he said to me when I got diagnosed?
"This will make an awesome blog post!" Finally I have something to liven up this ol' boring blog! 
The second best part: My mom was already coming into town this week. She gets here tomorrow! Awesome timing is it not? 
I feel like this is a blessing in disguise. If anything, it's helping the fi fi and I stay good for 5 more weeks because I pretty much don't let anyone touch me right now. 
Bridal shower + bridals are this weekend. Here's to hoping my belly expansion has gone down to 1 month prego instead of 5. 

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Daily grumblings

I have been sitting at my computer, trying to write a simple 1 page paper about something I don't care an ounce about, so I decided to come to my blog and write about useless crap that I do care about. 

Like this iPhone case, that I want right now. 

Show-Me my Heart iPhone Case

...and about how I am probably the least motivated nursing student in the universe. I feel like my entire class is already talking about going back to get their masters or nurse praticioners degree...the only way you're going to get me to go back to school is if you pay me. SEE YA BYU!
Although, I am thoroughly enjoying my clinical, even though it deprives me of sleep and adequate sanity. And I almost saw a baby die on Tuesday. That was pretty horrible, I thought I was going to pass out. 
Baby made it though. 

All of my belongings are divided into six places: my old apartment, my cousin's house, Ryan's apartment, my car, Ryan's car, our new apartment. Recently I feel like I haven't been able to find anything, and now I realize why. 

Wedding planning makes me insanely hungry...I have been eating everything in sight and I have to fit into my wedding dress in 10 days? YIKES. 

Speaking of YIKES, I told Ryan oneday that I didn't feel like wearing makeup that particular day and he said 'YIKES.' I wanted to get mad, but it was actually pretty funny so we both just laughed. 

This morning I noticed Ryan left his gum in my car. There was one piece left, but I knew Ryan really wanted it. So then the great debate commenced. Eat it? Give it back? Eat it? Eat it?
I gave it back. And left a sweet love note on his car. 
And what did he do in return? Surprised me at lunch and brought my favorite vitamin water. Good boy. I'm glad I gave that dang gum back. Let's just get married already. My friend predicted what our chil'ren will be like when they make their blessed arrival: 

I can't wait. I better find me some baby tap shoes & extra large diapers. 
Is my clinical making me baby hungry? 
Don't tell Ryan! 

Thursday, January 19, 2012

babytime talk

[my rotation site this semester] 

Monday night, I was helping a woman deliver a super cute little baby girl. It was her boyfriend's first child and he started sobbing as soon as the babies head was what did I do?? I started bawling. Some crazy student I must have looked like, standing there awkwardly with tears running down my cheeks. I knew this woman maybe 4 hours? Between tears the dad would say,
 "Hello sweetheart, I love you so much." How can you not cry? 
Motherhood is a miracle, in every sense of the word. I am just in awe of the whole process, 
...and all that crap that happens in between. 
I think about my mama and all she's done for me, then times it by 5 because I have 4 brothers. I honestly don't know how it's done. But I guess the only word to describe the whole process is miraculous. 
I love being able to witness it everyday. 
Counting my blessings!

Sunday, January 15, 2012


 “I am truly, deeply loved of the Lord. He will do all that I permit him to do for my happiness."

[please ignore the awkward placement of the buttons on my jacket...]

I can't think of a time in my life when I have been happier. Or more stressed out. 
But also happier. 
When I let the Lord make me happy, He does a fine and dandy job at it. It's crazy because so many things went wrong this week, but as soon as I prayed about it, I got this overwhelming feeling that He had things taken care of. Like always, DUH.
Yesterday Ryan made me laugh really hard after he made an awkward situation not so awkward by saying, "...and this is the part where you should laugh." Not that I had any doubt before, but he is so totally the one for me, it's not even funny. 
Here's to a new week. One week closer to becoming Mrs. Lawter. 

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Beautiful Things

I have received sooo much help with my wedding, it truly is overwhelming. 
My tasteful cousin Martha designed my invitations and is helping with a lot of the graphics for the wedding (her taste is to DIE for!) I'll post the invitation here soon...we're sending them out in the next few weeks!! It is elegant and beautiful. Just like Martha! 
Also, we decided to hire two ladies from my home ward who have a party planning business called Coppertop Soiree. I am IN LOVE with their ideas too. I was going to try to do everything myself (with my mom and mother in law's help too, of course) but it was just too much with school on top of it. 
And 1,000 miles between us.
If anyone in KC is looking for event planners, I HIGHLY recommend them. They are awesome at sticking with a budget and they are going to make our wedding dreams come to life. 
And when I say "our" I mean "my"...because Ryan doesn't really care. 
Here are a couple of their ideas: 

Those pictures aren't even half of it. I almost started crying when I saw when they were coming up with. 
I'm so grateful for all the help we've received! It's made my wedding planning so much fun. 

Speaking of beautiful, I miss these beautiful little stinkers. 

I cried the whole way to Utah because I didn't want to leave them (and my siblings and parents).
 Family truly is EVERYTHING. 

Thursday, January 5, 2012

"It is just this reassurance that life is ok"

I love this video, put out by this amazing site.
It has touched me in so many ways tonight, as I sit here staring at a list of things I need to get done between now and April.
I honestly don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't even know where to start. I'm overwhelmed, and scared, and anxious as all gets out. I should be a pro at this? Afterall it's my LAST SEMESTER at BYU. But add a surgery, internship, and wedding all into one, and it's just got me tangled for a second.
But because of the gift of the Holy Ghost, I have the reassurance "that life is ok." 
And that all will be well. It is well. Everything is good. There's just a little too much of it right now.  
On a happier note. My Christmas break was WONDERFUL! I ate too much, slept too little, and then I turned 22. 
It was awesome. 
63 days until I'm Mrs. Lawter. 
I can't complain anymore. It will all be worth it!